Tienhaarassa - Crossroads

Paassa pyorii, ei tieda, haluaisi tietaa. Mihin suuntaan tulisi kulkea, paikalleen jaaminen kun ei ole varteenotettava vaihtoehto. Valintoja ja paatoksia tulisi tehda mutta kaikenlaiset rajoitukset (rahalliset ja ei-rahalliset) sekoittavat. Voihan vitsi.

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Head spinning, don't know, would like to know. Where to turn, which road to take. Staying put is not an option. Choices and decisions to be made but all sorts of obstacles and restrictions in the way (financial and non-financial). Oh dear.

It has been a year today...

... and it does not feel any more real than this time last year when the news hit me. I fear that I am actually not dealing with the death of a very important person but just managing to pretend that nothing has happened. I spent so many years dreading the moment, so much so that when it happened I could not really feel anything.

I wish that I could still feel as deeply as I was able when I was younger but it appears that I have become more thick-skinned the older I become.

I hope he has found the peace he was not able to find when alive. I remember him and our life together every day, I see him in our children and have set my mind to let the good times take over the bad ones.

I am not quite sure what I think or whether I am able to convey it in any way but still wanted to have this day as a milestone. I might have to start moving on.... whatever that means!

Hi!

My very first post ever in my very first blog ever!!! I am not quite sure yet what to do and so on so please be patient with me if you find yourself on this page.

I'll be back soon :-) Have a nice day