:-).
Tassa ovat sanani ja taman paivan sana on Unelma
1. Koti
2. Kulttuuri
3. Matka
4. Onni
5. Unelma
Olin nuorena erittain kiltti tytto, parjasin hyvin koulussa enka koskaan kapinoinut ketaan tahi mitaan vastaan. Minulla ei ollut uhmaikaa eika murrosikaisena ovet paukkuneet tai kirosanat raikuneet. Tama saattaisi kuulostaa omahyvaiselta jos ei saisi tietaa asioiden oikeaa laitaa, minulla ei naet ollut tilaa olla hankala, se oli varattu aitikullalle. Jos jollakulla on ikina ollut asia huonosti niin varmasti hanella. Eli, kayttaydy kunnolla ettei hermo romahda silla henkilolla johon sinun pitais kyeta turvautumaan. Olen vielakin vihainen - minun maailmassani lapset eivat tue vanhempiaan, heidan pitaa uskaltaa olla vapaita ja turvassa! Minulla oli unelma, olla vapaa siita ahdistavasta vastuusta etta aitini mielenterveys on riippuvainen siita miten "kiltti" tytto mina olen.
Kun kuulin taman laulun ensimmaista kertaa, oli kuin joku olisi avannut kaikki ovet ja ikkunat, tama oli minulle enemman kapinaa kuin kukaan olisi voinut arvatakaan. Unelmani on toteutunut tavallaan silla nykyaan, hyvin monien velvollisuudentaytteisten vuosien jalkeen en suostu enaa "kiltin tyton" rooliin. Ei niin etta olisin mitenkaan kauhean kapinallinen mutta minua ei enaa pysy kiristamaan hyvaksynnan antamisella tai poisottamisella. Unelmani olla itsenainen on vihdoinkin totta!
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I got my five words from Elegia and because I am a desperately slow blogger I decided to deal with them one at a time and in a mixed order :-). Here are my words and today's word is Dream.
1. Home
2. Culture
3. Journey/Travel
4. Fortune/Happiness/Luck
5. Dream
(so sorry nos 3 an 4 are not one word as the word in finnish means all these in english, I will take the liberty of deciding which one I use when its time is up)
I was a "good girl" when I was young, I did well at school and never ever rebelled against anyone or anything. I did not have terrible two's neither did the doors bang or swear words echo when I was a teenager. All this might sound a bit self-satisfied and smug if you did not know the background to it. I never had space to be difficult, that was reserved for "Mommy Dearest". If anyone ever had it bad, she would be it. Hence, behave or be responsible for mummy's nervous breakdown. The very person that was supposed to be the safe haven made me the guardian of hers. I am still very angry even after all these years - in my world children are not meant to prop up their parents, they need to be allowed to feel safe and free. So, I had a dream, I dreamt of freedom from the anxious responsibility of being a "good girl" to keep my mother's sanity propped up.
When I first hear this song I felt like someone had opened all doors and windows, this was more rebellion for me than anyone could even start to guess. My dream has come through in a way that now, after very very many years filled with anxious responsibility I will not accept the role of a "good girl". Not that I would be a rebellion but I cannot be blackmailed with acceptance of other people, either giving it or withdrawing it. My dream of being independent has finally come true.
SIELUN VELJET IN MOSCOW
Lyrics here
SIELUN VELJET: ON MULLA UNELMA
(lyriikka loytyy TAALTA)
