Here I sit, watching telly by myself. Not sad, no, just a bit confused. Where did all those busy years go? Suddenly, I have no underage children, no REAL responsibilites and I am free! OMG how that word was tempting me all along when I felt that my days were filled with everything but time for me.
Now, when I have time for me, what do I do with it? And, I was the selfish mother who held a full-time job and saw friends, volunteered and so on. Yet, I feel I am not trained and prepared to do WHATEVER I WANT!
Today is the day for resolutions. What is going to be my main resolution? Do I actually know what I want?
There is a lovely poem by a Finnish poet, Eeva Kilpi. She often writes about women.
Going to sleep, I think:
Tomorrow I will heat up the sauna,
Pamper
myself,
Walk, swim, wash,
Invite myself to evening tea,
Speak to myself
in a friendly and admiring way, praising:
You brave little woman,
I
believe in you.
- Eeva Kilpi - **
Maybe one of my resolutions is to get to know myself, find out who I am and especially WHY I am, maybe I have something to tell that I should listen to?
**
[Nukkumaan käydessä ajattelen:
Huomenna minä lämmitän saunan,
pidän itseäni hyvänä,
kävelytän, uitan, pesen,
kutsun itseni iltateelle,
puhuttelen ystävällisesti ja ihaillen,
kehun: Sinä pieni urhea nainen,
minä luotan sinuun.
- Eeva Kilpi, Laulu rakkaudesta 1976]
Onnea tutkimusretkelle itseen. Sekin ottaa aikansa, että keksii sen, mitä todella haluaa :) Minäkin pidän kovasti tuosta runosta, samoin kuin monista muistakin Eeva Kilven teksteistä.
ReplyDeleteHei Millan, kiitos paljon ja Hyvaa Uutta Vuotta sinulle ja perheellesi!
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